Miss Wu Xiaoyu
Block 22, #05-21-J
35 Prince George’s Park
Singapore 118429
30 August 2009
Recruitment Manager
Citibank
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to apply for Management Associate Program with Citibank Consumer Banking. I came to know this program through Citibank on-campus recruitment talk and the requirements of the program appealed to me immensely.
As an Honors year Statistics undergraduate at the National University of Singapore, I have strong analytical and quantitative skills. It was sufficiently shown during my summer internship at Singapore Pools, where my statistical analyses and models were adopted in making business decisions. On the other hand, I also have keen interest in financial services sector, which led me to pursue duo minors in Economics and Financial Mathematics, and enroll in qualification tests of Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA).
Being a foreign student, I am very adaptable to new environment. Five years of living in a foreign country made me an independent and resilient person who is capable of overcoming obstacles and making things happen. My consistently above par grades are a good indication of my motivation and perseverance. In addition to my academic competence, I have cultivated great interpersonal skills during my previous internships and displayed excellent teamwork during co-curricular activities.
Citibank is a world’s leading bank with well-established international presence. Its dynamic and meritocratic working environment provides an excellent platform for career development, which further motivates me to join this organization. It would be a great privilege to work with Citibank, and I believe my abilities and qualifications would be a good fit to the company.
I have a positive attitude and would be delighted to meet up for an interview. Please do not hesitate to contact me via my email address at xiaoyu@nus.edu.sg or my mobile phone number at 90923953 for further discussion.
Thank you very much for your attention. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely yours,
Xiaoyu
Hi Xiao Yu,
ReplyDeleteI feel that overall, your cover letter is clear and it's commendable that you went straight to the point. Your 2nd and 4th paragraphs are very good as it really shows your keen interest in the financial sector and your knowledge of the organization.
However, I feel that you can elaborate more on how your previous internships and co-curricular activities have helped you develop your interpersonal skills and your ability to work in a team. Perhaps you could write about an experience you've been through which displayed such skills.
Also, since you've excelled academically, it'll be good if you include your CAP in the cover letter.
Hope this will help you in improving your letter :)
-Glenda
Hi Xiao Yu
ReplyDeleteYour cover letter is impressive. The length is appropriate, you sound very enthusiastic and there is a clear thought process that went through in getting your details written in a very coherent manner.
I particularly like how you show that you have had the motivation and perseverance to read two minor programs, which is an apparent manifestation of your keeness. And the fact that you included a short paragraph on Citibank itself clearly showed that you did your research.
I just have a small question, though. Why is the position called "Management Associate Program"? I was a bit confused with "program" as I had thought that it was some course, until I checked the job application details.
But on the whole, I think this is a really good cover letter.
Best,
Prashant
Prashant,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment!
Many banks and MNCs have this kind of training programs for fresh graduates. The programs usually last for one or two years, and can help graduates familiarize with the industry and learn job-related skills.
I don't have to description for Citibank program here, but I attach the link for HSBC Management Development Program below, hope can help you. ^ ^
http://www.hsbc.com.sg/1/2/miscellaneous/careers/management-development-programme
Hi Xiao Yu,
ReplyDeleteI think you have done a great job and your cover letter is precise and well organized.
I agree with Glenda that maybe you can elaborate more about your internships or co-curricular activities that helped to develop your interpersonal skills, since such communication skills is often of utmost importance in the banking industry.
You may also wish to consider adding in a line or two in the last paragraph, indicating that you will call up the company perhaps in a week’s time, to further discuss on your job application. Some employers may prefer candidates who are more pro-active and will further convince the employer of your keen interest in the company.
Hope it may help you in improving your cover letter.
PS: Maybe it’s better for you to sign off with your full name?
Huiyi
Dear Xiaoyu,
ReplyDeleteI like the way you presented you ideas-clear and to the point.
However like what Glenda and huiyi mentioned, I also feel that it would be better to elaborate on your internsship and cca,. Perhaps, you could use the help of examples to better show the admission committee how you cultivated interpersonal skills and showed good teamwork.
Regards,
Jessica
Hi ppl,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for you comments!
I agree with you guys that I should further elaborate my third paragraph. And I should also sign off with my full name.
Thank you so much for your precious suggestions! :)
Xiaoyu